I have a fear that sometimes takes too much control over me, and that is the kind of fear of that I wont be able to achieve the goals I’ve set, or the expectations of others. It becomes paralyzing, and makes me completely unable to do anything productive at all. I’ve had this about math, I like math, I’m not extremely talented in it, but if given some extra time I’ll come around. Besides it’s like solving a puzzle! Who knows what the answer will become. I know it’s not my strongest subject, so I’ve spent a lot of time to prepare my head mentally to be open about math, and not shut down immediately once I don’t get something. So after class yesterday, I had a talk with my math teacher telling him about this. And he calmed me down quite a lot by saying I should just focus on those things that are manageable, rather than that which seem like an ancient dead language to me. So now I’m more inspired to continue. We have a test on monday, where we wont even be allowed a calculator! I don’t think I’ll do that well, my head-calculating isn’t fast, so I might be using too long time on the questions. We shall see! I’ll do some later today, and a lot tomorrow! (Hopefully)
There is a lot of talk about food these days. How important it is to eat, and what is good for you and what vitamins, minerals and such you need to give your body so it wont become sick. It’s getting a bit too much really. Though, I have re-discovered an old vegetable I used to love as a child! It’s the perfect autumn vegetable. Red beet! It’s rich in colour (especially if it’s pickled!) and will spruce up anything you put it on, and the taste is quite rich as well. As well as it’s rich on minerals that you need, it’ll even help prevent heart diseases.
Friends. Oh how I love my friends. Dearly and deeply. I don’t always talk a lot to them, and some not even regularly. Which is a shame, but when we get together it’s so lovely. No matter what the weather is, we’ll have fun. Either by watching a movie, running out into the forest to read ghost stories. To sit at an café and debate whether we should allow our selves a delicious looking bun. Talking about work, and family and things that goes on in the world as well as our thoughts. And I have to say I especially appreciate Emmy’s friendship. It’s sad that we can’t be with each other, even in the week-ends. In fact we’ll be lucky if we get to see each other once a year. I got to see her for a few hours when I went to Stockholm. I cannot praise her enough, she’s also the same person I told you all to go spend loads of money in her store at etsy.com. She’s my closest friend, despite the distance.
I’m emotional today; but in a good way.
Have a nice week-end!
